healing in Thy wings

I feel old today.  I awoke feeling as though the inside of my chest and skull had been scrubbed with the abrasive side of a dish sponge and the backs of my eyes were tied together. More and more, I've been finding myself singing familiar hymns, memorizing verses I've forgotten along the way, and attaching … Continue reading healing in Thy wings


“Yahweh,” or, “inhale; exhale”

I wasn't allowed to be a Girl Scout. I really wanted to be a Girl Scout. I wasn't allowed to take my Harry Potter books to church to read while my Papa worked in his office and Nana practiced the organ. I wasn't allowed to dress up as a ghost, witch, devil, or anything else scary. I was told yoga was sinful. Because they pray regardless of faith. Because people think they're teaching you devil worship. Because someone might see and they might talk. Because it's a heathen religion.

experimentations in self care

I want to talk about my "Self Care" section now. It's not a concept I'd really ever heard of before. I'd heard people recommend "taking time for yourself" or the ever-helpful "just relax" offered by people frustrated by others' anxiety, but my soul sister came through in a big way a few weeks ago. "You gotta find what works for you... Do one thing each day that makes you feel good." One thing.

little victories

I don't want to put the specifics on loud speaker, but here's the gist. I've had the foundations of my life shaken. Old trauma was brought into new, brighter, meaner light. I can't think about a time of this year without my heart pounding, my breath quickening, and my eyes welling up.

“a righteous man”

"Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly." The phrases, "A righteous man," and, "unwilling to expose her to public disgrace," jumped at me as never before.

like a nice hotel

I love old things. I love old books, old buildings, old houses, old dishes, old jewelry, and old pictures. When we buy a house someday, it'll be an old fixer upper and we'll make it beautiful again. So this new construction apartment totally shouldn't appeal to me.

rebels on top

But then I realized: this is the situation at hand and we have two choices leading to the same end: we need to get the eff out. We can either fight it like we usually do - bemoaning that these things keep happening to us, putting off what needs to be done, arguing about what we want, and growing more anxious by the day. Or. Or we could just get shit done.